Exactly ten years ago today, I moved into a studio apartment on Glenwood Ave in Uptown, Chicago, and I am feeling reflective. Ten years in Chicago! A lifetime has passed, it seems.

In 2013, I was 25, hot off my post-college jaunts around the world. I’d chosen Chicago based on the Masters of Arts in Social Justice and Community Development program at Loyola University Chicago.

I moved to Chicago in the spring, as I was beginning a summer internship with Illinois Housing Development Authority. My office was on Michigan Ave, right next to the Chicago Tribune. The internship ended up being extended after the summer, then eventually became a permanent job. I was extraordinarily lucky to meet amazing friends at work, Aisha and Andy, and Andy’s partner Alan, who are today some of my closest friends in Chicago.

I have sweet memories from that first summer in Chicago. Riding the train from Uptown to Streeterville every day for work and for class, playing softball on the office team in Grant Park. Waking up at 5:45 every morning to bike along Lake Michigan. I hosted many out-of-town guests on an airbed in my studio apartment, and hit up the Green Mill for gypsy jazz many Wednesday nights.

In ten years, obviously many things have changed. Most notably, I got married! Happily, seven years out of the ten I have known Patrick in Chicago. Patrick and his huge extended family have become anchors in the city, which really helped me to make it my home.

But, before I met him, I worked very hard to make the city my own. The first winters were horrific, and required me to drastically change how I lived, actually several times.

Probably the most important lessons I’ve learned in Chicago is that this is a dynamic city, drastically differently to live in during winter and summer. Chicago requires a lot of change, flexibility, effort, and humor. Living in Chicago has forced me to grow up in many hard, and vital ways.

The first few years here, I really wasn’t sure if I was going to make it. In fact, in 2015, I actually planned to move back to Omaha. I’d gotten a new job, with Call To Action, which could be remote. However, I also decided that year to get truly intentional about my life. I decided to try out new ways of living which center on introspection, sobriety, and truly listening to my emotions, and learning about myself.

Introspection led to me taking my residence in Chicago very seriously in 2016. That spring brought a lot of change. Aisha moved away (she’s back now, thankfully!) and I also ended a very bizarre relationship with a dude who I now see exhibited quite a few cult-leader tendencies. Learning how to heal from THAT is a novel in itself, but for now I’ll just say: life was dynamic in 2016. It required me to get out of my comfort zone a lot, and to go meet new people on the regular to make Chicago my home.

Happily, I’d been introduced by a mutual friend to Caitlin, also from Nebraska. She invited me to a party on Lake Michigan on Memorial Day. That’s where I met Patrick, who knew her from studying abroad in Rome. We hit it off instantly, after he struck up a conversation with me about Nairobi. I’d mentioned living there, and he had also spent a month in Kenya. Funny enough, Patrick and I also overlapped in Rome, as I’d had an internship there for a month while he was studying abroad. Ah, we were written in the stars.

Our sweet first summer is filled with magical memories. That year, I also went to Thailand for a work conference. Aisha and I spontaneously bought flights to Croatia, and spent a fabulous Thanksgiving week there together. Happily, my friend Emily, who I’d first met working at a summer camp in Poland, also moved to Chicago and became my frequent companion experiencing the best of Chicago’s Eastern European haunts. And, I went to Mexico for the first time with SOA Watch, where I met and befriended Roy Bourgeois, who has remained an important touchstone for friendship and sanity.

My life in Chicago since 2016 has been far more grounded, and joyful, than my first three years. I would venture to say that everyone’s lives are happier with Patrick in them, but to give myself credit, it’s also because I decided to create the life I wanted. I was willing to try new things, to challenge myself, and not to hide from discomfort.

Probably the most important thing I’ve learned while living in Chicago these ten years, is the importance of movement. Long walks along Glenwood Ave, where Patrick and I once again live, have basically solved every problem I’ve had in these ten years. Turns out, we humans can bear anything, if we let it move through our bodies, relying on the trees for guidance.

Speaking of movement, yesterday, I took my bike out on Lake Michigan once again. It’s been unseasonably warm here, and I’ve loved every minute. I was reminded again of how much FUN it is just to play outside. “Let’s go for a long bike ride SOON” I have been texting Alan, ever since it got warm. Isn’t it sweet that little kids go on bike rides, and adults do too?

I was happy to bike outside again, and to come back to our apartment on Glenwood. Our new apartment, where we moved November of last year, hearkens back to that original one on Glenwood. It’s old, has great windows and airflow, basic amenities, and a really lovely 3^rd floor back porch.

The past few years have seen significant changes for Patrick and I, both in me becoming a fully independent freelance copywriter & communications consultant, and in our housing—unexpectedly moving last year. For me too, I’ve shifted fully away from my religious upbringing in the Catholic Church, and embraced a more universal spirituality, away from the burden of institution.

Recently, I’ve felt great relief in returning to the basics. I really like our new apartment. A pleasant home environment has always been essential to my well-being. The new place feels light and airy—and these hot days recently have shown great hope for summer, as we don’t have air conditioning. My office space is ideal—a sun room facing West. I decorated it with plants, art, and I have baby zinnia and pea seedlings growing in the south-facing corner. Patrick and I share the large room, and he utilizes it for writing, playing, and recording music for his bands and for his solo music. We’ve already had a lot of fun sharing our creative work space!

Gratefully, I’ve also had some cool work opportunities coming to me this year—a copywriting job from a UK-based media and event-planning company, covering a conference attended by execs from the biggest corporations in the world (not normally my scene—but interesting.) Recently, I was also approached to work for a performing arts center on the west side, and have really been enjoying the work.

Notably, Chicago has been the birthplace of my intentionality about pursuing a profession as a writer. For far too long, I was afraid to be intentional. It took several years, and a lot of important professional experiences, and introspection, to realize that if I wanted to live my truest life, I had better get serious about being a writer.

It’s been a 5-year-long process from first saying to myself “I want to be a writer, I’ll start from the bottom”— to being able to actually run a business based upon being a professional writer. I was willing to do what I needed to do—write for free for people’s blogs, and websites, which eventually led to writing for National Catholic Reporter and Sojourners Magazine—excellent reporting experience. Reporting is such fun, satisfying work. Sadly, it’s notoriously under-paid. I would have stuck out NCR though, if I had been able to handle one second longer dealing with the Church. I’ve learned when I need to throw in the towel.

I’ve learned through reporting on it and working for Catholic non-profits, that working for the Catholic Church in general, is also horribly paid, and riddled with unnecessary drama. I learned far more than I ever wanted to know about the institution in the past 10 years of living in Chicago. As a new colleague said to me this week, “it’s a business.” It’s also quite cult-y, and repressive. If I ever write a book about the church it’s going to be called “Everything doesn’t have to be so terrible, dudes.”

Wonderfully, in this new space of spirituality, I’ve learned the power of my intuition and instinct, and how to embrace my feminine soul in the past 10 years in Chicago. I’ve learned what I will put up with and what I will not put up with. I’ve also learned that my emotions will always lead me to the truth (though sometimes it takes many long walks to get there.)

I’ve learned how much of my life was defined by my identities – as a white woman, an Enneagram 3w4, growing up in the Catholic Church, middle class in the Midwest. Some of what has come from these identities have been great gifts to my life, and other aspects were pretty harmful, both to myself and society in general.

I have a lot to say about identity, and it’s power to empower and to blind. That’s for another blog. But I will say this—one of the most absolutely vital things I’ve learned in these ten years, is how to peel back my own identities so that I can see our world a little more clearly.

Allowing myself to see what is harrowing and brutal, as well as the lightness and beauty of our world—has been incredibly freeing. I’ve learned a lot in the past ten years about how our culture crushes the bodies and souls of women. One particularly sad way I’ve experienced this is in the ways that women vie for power over each other in an attempt to gain a little power ourselves. I’ve experienced crushing sexism in work, from other women, and in my personal life, from other women. I’ve learned that I have zero tolerance for girl games, and I’ve learned how to create safer boundaries. And, I’ve learned the absolute necessity of letting shit go. I need space to let the light in.

I’ve also learned the truly abundant wisdom of getting enough rest. After my body totally broke down about two years ago, and I took off time from work to rest, I realized that there’s just no way I can thrive without being super intentional about how much I work and how much I play. In a city like Chicago, full of all sorts of energy, you’ve got to find a calm, peaceful space in which to rest. And you’ve got to look for beauty, love, creativity, and lightness in life to stay centered. Thankfully, this city is full of art and wonderful people!

Friends and family in Chi, beloved visitors, and the Chicago half marathon! Just a tiny snapshot of life.

In ten years in Chicago, I’ve gained a peace of mind that I could have never imagined 10 years ago. My spirituality has grown in beautiful ways, and I’ve been challenged to learn and grow though all of life’s ups and downs. I’m extraordinarily grateful to my friends Marci, and Aubrey, for helping me move forward and grow in this aspect, especially, of my life. And I’m grateful for my family, who I miss in Nebraska, and love hosting in Chicago!

I’m grateful for today. For ten years of big life in Chicago, and a future yet to be written.

Thank you to everyone who has taught me lessons, supported me, and had a damn good time with me in Chicago! Cheers to many decades to come!